


The Changing of the Guard

by imnotokaywiththerunning



Series: What's a Bingo? [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, Good Omens Bingo 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29660682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotokaywiththerunning/pseuds/imnotokaywiththerunning
Summary: A new Horseman takes the place of Pestilence when they retire after the discovery of Penicillin. It takes some getting used to.
Series: What's a Bingo? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176467
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8
Collections: Good Omens Bingo 2021





	The Changing of the Guard

**Author's Note:**

> My second prompt fill for the Good Omens Bingo 2021  
> Prompt: The Horsemen

The cool breeze blew across the field of poppies. Famine, or Dr. Raven Sable as he was known now, smiled as he set up the small picnic table underneath the lone tree on the edge of the poppy field. He was meeting his colleagues for the first time in centuries and he had brought his newest creation for their repast; a new herbal tea that he had high hopes of becoming the next new diet fad (it gave the drinker the most awful diarrhea in the illusion of detoxing). He was glad that Pestilence had rung them all up if only to show off his work. 

A dull roar sounded down the road. Dr. Sable squinted into the sunlight to see a figure dressed in red riding a bright red motorcycle. His smile grew fangs. He had hoped War would get the call. He was still running off the high of their last joint endeavor. Europe was still reeling from the destruction of their Second World War. Food was still scarce and Dr. Sable foresaw years of malnourished humans in the future. It was almost enough to make him dance with joy.

War pulled to a stop a few feet from the tree. A tug of their riding helmet revealed a strikingly beautiful woman with flaming red hair. She smiled almost warmly were it not for the sharpness of her unnaturally long teeth. She leapt across the motorcycle to wrap Dr. Sable in a crushing hug. 

“It’s so good to see you, Famine,” she laughed. She threw her hands wide to gesture out across the poppy field. “A wonderful memorial of a wonderful six years! Weren’t those the days?”

Dr. Sable giggled. “To many more years of the same!”

The suffocating stench of illness suddenly filled the air as a man draped in a long white coat stepped from behind the tree. He pulled a surgical mask from his face with a moue of disgust. He waved dismissively at Famine and War as he stomped past them to the picnic table. He slumped bonelessly in a chair, grabbed a cup of tea, and downed it in one.

“My god, Sable, what the hell is this?” he grimaced, placing the cup as far from him as possible. 

Dr. Sable grinned and joined Pestilence at the table. “A new herbal tea. You’ll want to stay near a restroom for a few days.”

Pestilence rolled his eyes. He said nothing else but glared out over the poppies. Dr. Sable exchanged a quick glance with War, who turned a seat around to sit with her elbows resting on the chair back. 

“So, why call the meeting, Pestilence? I was having the most splendid fun in Korea,” War asked.

“All will be revealed soon.”

The cryptic answer intrigued Dr. Sable. Did Pestilence have some grand new virus to unleash upon the humans? The Spanish flu had been inspired. Dr. Sable had questioned unleashing it so soon after the First World War, but the infection had been swift and lethal. Truly, such feats were what made Pestilence the best of them. He was what Dr. Sable had aspired to be as a Horseman. 

War rolled her eyes. “Fine. Keep your secrets.”

They sat in silence then with only the wind whistling around them. Dr. Sable closed his eyes, relishing in the absence of noise. Three of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse gathered together. Nothing or no one would dare to interrupt them. 

**WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED US HERE, PESTILENCE? I HAVE SOULS TO HARVEST.**

Dr. Sable opened his eyes to look into the faceless hood of Death. Death had always been no nonsense. No matter what any of the other Horsemen did, Death always had a job to do. Humans died all over the world, and they were oh so good at it. 

“We’re not all here yet,’ Pestilence declared. He glared into the distance. “They were supposed to be here before the rest of us.”

“I was and have been.”

The new voice called down from the highest branch of the tree. A slim, pale being slipped easily through the branches leaving a trail of rotten leaves in their wake. They came to sit beside Pestilence on the grass which turned brown beneath them. 

**WHO IS THIS?**

“Pollution,” the newcomer answered with an oil-slick smile. “It's lovely to meet you all.”

“Why are you here?” War asked, her tone belligerent. Dr. Sable could tell she was one wrong word away from running a sword through Pollution. Dr. Sable himself was merely intrigued. The slim, sickly look of Pollution called to him. He could imagine a world where they would work lovely disasters together. 

“I’m retiring.” Pestilence said simply. 

**WHAT?!**

“We can do that?”

Pestilence raised a hand to silence the objections. “I’m done with humans. Their technology has only grown more detrimental to my work.” He grimaced. “Penicillin. It has saved countless lives and nothing I can do has stopped it. I can’t even kill off those that know about it because some others will come along and use it still. Humans nowadays can communicate with each other all over the world, sharing their information so quickly. It’s revolting. So I’m retiring. I’m washing my hands of it.”

Dr. Sable had heard of the new drug Penicillin, but he hadn’t thought its effects had hindered his brother so. But still, that was no call for retirement surely?

**SO YOU HAVE DECIDED TO ABANDON YOUR POST.**

Death’s disapproval swirled through the air as a suffocating veil. It pressed down on them all threatening to send them back into the ground from whence that had sprung many millennia ago. Dr. Sable had to focus to remain corporeal. He did not think that Death had the power to unmake them, but he was unwilling to find out. He stood up from his chair with great difficulty. 

“Friends, we cannot argue amongst ourselves. We all know that we must work together. It is, after all, why we were brought into existence.” Dr. Sable smiled as the four others turned their full attention to him. The air lessened in its intensity. “We have all had to struggle with humans’ growing grasp of technology. You remember the Aztecs and the Romans. Their irrigation systems nearly halved the food scarcity rate.”

“I remember that,” War grimaced. “I had to come up with new ways to send humans to war.”

The air finally returned to normal and Dr. Sable took a deep breath of air once again. He smiled. “Now then,” he said, turning his attention to Pestilence, “what can we do to help you?”

“Nothing!” Pestilence growled. He stood up from his chair angrily. “I am done! I called you here to make you aware, not to argue. I have found my replacement. My job is done. I bid you all farewell.”

With that, Pestilence stormed away in a cloud of dust. Once the worst of Pestilence’s storm had ended, Pollution rose from the ground to take the seat left open by the retirement of a Horseman. They sat in the chair and folded their hands on the table in front of them. Their face twisted into a smile as black as night. 

“As I said, I am Pollution. I look forward to working with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you feel so inclined.   
> You can find me on tumblr under the same username and on discord at artemis#1801. Come say hi!


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